The First Four Demos

by Shades McCool

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Thanks to Scotty Hoopes, Ben Johnson, Adam Gimbel, Rob Crow, David Huntsberger, and Bold Flavors.

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released February 25, 2015

Recorded by Tony Gidlund except track 2 recorded by Rob Crow and track 4 by Gidlund and Crow.

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Shades McCool San Diego, California

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Track Name: I'm Not Playing Music Anymore
Everybody's telling me to get back in the game but I'm just like I don't feel like it. I got my wittle feelings hurt.
You'll never see me standing on a stage again. You'll never see my stupid fucking face again. You'll never see me playing at the Soda Bar in a plaid shirt, jeans, and a PBR.
Everybody's begging me to get back in the game. They're all just like "we really need you Tone." I just started watching Game Of Thrones.
I'm never gonna make another mp3. That music stuff just ain't for me.
Track Name: Little Voice (You Gotta Go)
How do you live with yourself? Got your own circle in hell. I'm not hyperbolizing. I just want to enjoy this thing.
Little voice you gotta go.
It doesn't seem that long ago I was young, dumb, full of fun.
Now that I'm old, cold, full of mold
Everything's a hassle to me now. Everyone's an asshole to me now.
I don't want you making that sound. I don't want you banging around.
If you're gonna be there I'm gonna move or just sit and stew.
Maybe you don't understand that you are so loud.
Understand I'm not messing around when I turn around and choke you out during Watchmen in the scene where they fuck to Leonard Cohen.
Little voice you gotta go cuz I'm about to explode.
I used to be young , dumb, full of fun.
Now that I'm old, cold, covered in mold
Everything's a hassle to me now. Everyone's an asshole to me now.
I don't want you making that sound. I don't want you banging around.
If you're gonna be there I'm gonna move or just sit and stew.
Show some respect, show some restraint. MST3000 you ain't.
Track Name: Pretty Good Guy
Hi.
I don't want to be stabbed to death. I don't want to have offensive breath. I just want to split a bottle of wine with you.
I'm a good guy. I'm a pretty good guy. I file my taxes on time although my dad helps a lot with that stuff.
I don't want to get HIV. I don't ever want to lose my keys again. I don't want to get yelled at by either of my girlfriends.
I don't want to be disrespected. I don't want to have my dick bisected.
I just want to talk to you about Christ.
I'm a good guy. I'm a pretty good guy. I go to church everyday (the church of Andrew W.K.).
And I only listen to one band.
I kinda wanna go back to prison. I don't even own a television.
I just want to toss the frisbee around with you. It's true.
I don't want to run a marathon. I don't want to run in general.
I just want to run for mayor of Idontgiveafuck City.
I'm a good guy. I'm an okay guy and I don't understand why I don't have any friends on LinkedIn.
Bye.
Track Name: Custom Croutons
Make your own custom croutons
Make your own custom croutons
First you're gonna need a little bread. I prefer to use at least two kinds.
Cut the bread into little squares. Friend, you've got yourself some baby croutons there.
Toss the croots in some olive oil or whatever oil you desire.
Time to show your artistic side. Season those babies with whatever you like like...
Pop those babies in the toaster oven for five minutes at 375.
Flip em over and toast em til they're golden brown. We hope you have a pleasant stay in Crouton Town.
Now you're made custom croutons. Made your own ***damn custom croutons. It's fun, it's easy, and a great way to use old bread. I meant to mention it should be older bread.
So you've chosen to go down this path. You can never go back to your old life. Those five minutes at 375 are the only time I ever feel remotely alive.
If you make at least two croutons could you please send one to me. I'll put it in my little crouton case that was formerly an ice cube tray.
I guess that you could put them in a salad. Personally I've never eaten a salad. I give them names and pretend they're my friends. We're all going out to see a movie later (Hunger Games: Mockingjay).